CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
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