you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
you mean i was at the winter classic?
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
