Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
