He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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