I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Randomize
