Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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