Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
Randomize
