Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
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