Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
Also, beer. Big fan.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
Randomize
