just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Randomize
