yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
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