Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
