I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
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If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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