I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
I want to be your penis for a week.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
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