your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
Randomize
