I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
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