YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
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