You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
I don't want my vagina anymore.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize
