apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Randomize
