I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
Randomize
