Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
