I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Randomize
