my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize