I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
Randomize
