what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
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