I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
the gays at disneyland are vicious
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
I fill condoms, not promises.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
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