Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
well you can't waste a boner
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
