is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
Randomize
