Pappa wants mamma naked
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
This Girl’s Unbelievable Catfish Story Will Make You Rethink Online Dating
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
25 Times Terrible Advice Was Given To A Teenager
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?