Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
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