These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
25 People Reveal The Creepiest Kids They Went to School With
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
17 Subtle Body Language Signs That Reveal A Lot About Someone
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls