then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY