i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
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you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
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i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.