but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
