If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
Randomize
