last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
Watching her eat just hurts me
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
