Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
