Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
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