How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
Randomize
