Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
I enjoy the company of your penis
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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