so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
I just cut my nipple shaving
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
Hippo gnu deer
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
Randomize
