I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
you made out with another girl for some wings
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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