Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize