So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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