so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Randomize
