You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
