oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
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