No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
