Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
