chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
Randomize
