Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
