Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
Randomize
