Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
