I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
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