i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize
