Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
