Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
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