Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
