wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
Randomize
