I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
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