I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
false alarm, still single
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
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