I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
