Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
Randomize
