But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
Randomize
