Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
Randomize
