she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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