Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize
