No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
