Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
You need a sexual gate keeper
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
Randomize
